I haven't posted in couple of months, for various reasons, and I need to figure out some way of making it a habit to write here on a more regular basis.
That being said, I feel like I've been doing a pretty good job of working on my goal to be happier and healthier. In some ways I feel like I have been more emotional, but not necessarily in a bad way. In fact, multiple articles I've read and videos that I have watched have told me that as we become more awakened, we can become more emotional and/or sensitive to the world around us. I think for me this has proven true, as I have been spending more time and energy on reorganizing my life, and questioning certain choices and decisions. I feel that I'm just starting to enter a period of transformation, and that I am becoming stronger and happier because of it.
Not to say that I don't still have major stressors in my life, but I'm slowly learning to work past them, and not let them control my life, although it can be extremely hard sometimes. This week in particular has been extremely stressful, due to an incident that was out of my control that happened last week, and in some ways I have felt like I was drowning in stress and anxiety. Normally I am able to keep my anxiety under control pretty well, but the last week really has presented a challenge, and it's been hard.
However, last night, walking home from work after a very nice, warm spring day, surrounded by the fragrant aroma of blooming flowers... I finally felt like I could breathe again for the first time in several days.
Now, I know that in life there will always be moments of sadness, or stress, or anger, but one thing I have learned is that no matter how bad things can get, there is always something to be thankful for or to smile about. Friends and family have kept me going this week; the last few years I have purposely surrounded myself with people who are positive, and supportive, and who I know will always be there for me if I need anything. As funny as it sounds, my mom's chickens also can really help when I'm having a rough time. I have a favorite one named Dolly, who is a little orange silkie, and I have been picking her up and cuddling her since she was a little chick and would fall asleep cuddled up in my jacket, against my neck.
Flowers, sunshine, wind, birdsong, books, a hot cup of tea, a cat cuddled up on my lap, the giggles of my children - all of these are things that make me smile and get through any hardships I may be going through.
I think one of the most important things to remember is that no matter how bad we feel in a moment, things can always get better, and that the way we react and cope with a situation, is what will make all of the difference in the long run.
I may have had a hard week, but that's all it is, a hard week, and I refuse to let it effect my life. I have so many thing to be happy about and thankful for, and I choose to focus on those instead.
Anyways, here's to a new week and to further my journey towards healing.
~ Hannah Elise